Kenneth A. Theobald
April 12, 1966 - May 19, 2009
Obituary
MYRTLE BEACH | Kenneth A. Theobald, 43, passed away
unexpectedly Tuesday, May 19, 2009.
Kenneth was born April 12, 1966 at Maxwell Air Force Base in Montgomery,
Alabama, a son of Pat Rookstool of Johnston, Iowa, and the late Arch
Theobald. He lived in many cities, including Yokota AFB, Japan, where he met
his beloved wife in High School. Kenneth graduated from West Iowa Tech
Community College and went on to a career in Broadcast Engineeering, most
recently as the Chief Engineer of WFXB-TV in Myrtle Beach. Kenneth was
passionate about animal rights, a devoted father who could always be seen on
the sidelines watching his children perform with the CFHS Marching Band, and
loved playing golf; but most of all, loved to spend time with his family and
friends.
Kenneth is survived by his wife, Ammy G. Theobald; his daughter, Mackenzie
Siobhan Hadley-Theobald of Myrtle Beach; his son, Coby Michael Hadley-Theobald
of Myrtle Beach; his step daughter, Ashlyn Nicole Mayes of Myrtle Beach; and
his maternal grandmother, Dorothy Hutchinson of Sioux City, Iowa.
A memorial service will be held 2 p.m. Saturday, May 23, 2009 in the Chapel
of McMillan-Small Funeral Home.
Memorial contributions may be made to the Grand Strand Humane Society, 3241
10th Ave. Ext. N., Myrtle Beach, SC 29577 or Carolina Forest High School
Band Boosters, c/o CFHS, 700 Gardner Lacy Rd., Myrtle Beach, SC 29579.
An online register is available at www.msfh.net and at TheSunNews.com.
McMillan-Small Funeral Home of Myrtle Beach is serving the family.
05-19-2011
This second year since Ken died has been quite the roller-coaster.
His wife’s daughter contacted me and raked me over the coals (though I’m
still not 100% convinced that it wasn’t actually his wife hijacking her
daughter’s Facebook account). I suppose I deserved much (if not all) of what
she said to me – I am responsible for helping Ken dig up dirt on her
mother. I also feel guilty that this might have contributed to his suicide;
even though the logical side of my brain tells me that Ken was responsible
for his own actions.
Although it was hard to hear, I accept her castigation of me – I don’t
expect her to direct her anger at Ken or her mother.
The one thing she said that really devastated me and sent me into an ugly
pit of despair was that in the almost 10 years that she knew him – Ken never
once mentioned me.
That was hard to take. Ken was like a brother to me back in the day. All my
friends knew who Ken (Volleyball) was, even though they had never met him.
They can probably recite stories about him almost as well as I can. To think
that he never mentioned me was like a stab in the heart.
Then out of the blue, near the end of 2010, Ken’s daughter contacted me. She
wanted to know more about the kind of teenager he was. I was a little wary
at first – I was still smarting from the vitriol heaped on me from Ken’s
wife and her daughter; I wasn’t sure I could handle any more just yet.
She “friended” me on Facebook and I got a small window-view into her life. I
can see why Ken was always talking about how proud he was of her. She’s a
good kid and will soon be graduating from high school.
In the midst of relating stories of her father; I asked her how it was she
even knew about me. She told me that her father spoke about me plenty and he
always smiled when he told stories about us. She said she knew who I was
going back to when she was little due to all the stories he told.
She dipped a bucket into a dark well and brought me back out into the light
with one paragraph. The kind of thing her father would have done for someone
hurting.
The hole he left still hurts, but it hurts a little less now.
Addendum - His wife is obviously doing better now as well. I hear she has a
new boy-friend (luckily it’s not the married man she was cheating on Ken
with – and hopefully this new guy isn’t married either) and putting new
spins on the circumstances surrounding Ken’s death. I’ve heard she’s now
telling people it was “natural causes”.
Perhaps it helps her sleep at night.
05-19-2010
It is now the 1 year anniversary of Ken killing himself.
I haven't really had any great revelations concerning his death over the
last year except for one. It's a comment I posted on Facebook a while
back concerning some marital problems a few old co-workers (and a cousin)
were having:
"If your marriage is so
bad that you have to cheat on your spouse, get a frikken divorce instead of
torturing him/her to death."
I sometimes wish I would have had the guts to say this to Ken's wife before
things got to the point where he went out and committed suicide. Would it have made a difference?
I don't know. Probably not - but at least I would have felt like I
tried.
05-2009
Ken "Volleyball" Theobald was my best friend when I went to high school in
Japan. Not until years later, after I finally settled down in one
place, did I ever have a friend as close to me as he was.
We re-connected a couple of times (thanks to the magic of the internet) over
the years. The last time we re-connected, he confided in me that he
suspected his wife was cheating on him and he asked me to help him uncover
the truth. Against my better judgment, I helped him confirm his
suspicions.
A few days later, he committed suicide.
If I had refused to help Ken find out about his wife's infidelity, would he
still be alive? I don't know. For a long time I blamed myself
for acceding to his wishes. I was also very angry at him for taking
the cowards way out and not just divorcing his wife instead of leaving his
children fatherless.
Over time, as I have learned more about what he was going through with his
wife, I have let go of my anger towards him. I understand why he felt
his only option was to kill himself. My guilt has lessened, but has
not completely gone away - I don't know if it ever will.
I have heard his wife has moved to another state and is now living near or
with the man she cheated on Ken with. It's not easy keeping my heart
free of hate when it comes to her, but I try. All that's left, really,
is a deep sadness. Sad that he's gone, sad that I will never get to
see him again, sad that his children will have to grow up without a father,
and sad that that of all the times he reached out to me - he never tried
before he went out and committed suicide.
I like to think that I could have talked him out of it, had he called.
Instead, it sounds like he told his wife and she did nothing about it.
